Conversations from an A&E Department Waiting Room

Last night I had the pleasure of spending 6 hours in the Accident and Emergency department waiting room of Aberdeen Royal Infirmary after my mum took ill.  While she was busy been processed through triage for nearly 5 hours, I was busy sitting the waiting room with nothing more than a notepad and pen to amuse myself.  The following is a transcript of some of the more amusing conversations I overhead with some interesting characters.

Whilst having a cigarette outside.
Nae-Teeth Junkie:  You got a light miss?
Me:  Yeah, there you go.  hands over lighter
Nae-Teeth Junkie:  It's nae illegal.  I ken it smells funny but it's just frankincense.  They canna ban frankincense in a Christian country, ken, 'cause it was baby Jesus' birthday present.

After about an hour, a rather intoxicated man was dropped off by two rather tired looking police officers.  They left, and he sat down next to a couple in their mid-thirties, the lady was in for back pain.  Later, his long suffering gran turned up to keep him in check.
Drunk Who Loves His Gran to Lady:  You got a sare back?
Lady With Sore Back:  Yes.
Drunk Who Loves His Gran:  Christ!  If I had some of my prescription diazepam on me I'd give you some.  Couple of wee blues would sort yer pain right oot!

The next arrival was a drunk / drugged up man who was dropped off in a wheelchair by an older paramedic.  He was deposited next to an Asda worker with a sore hand.
Wheelchair Drunk to Paramedic:  Nice ti meet yih, thanks for everything, stay safe.
Paramedic:  Aye, you too.  Up ih Dons!
Asda Worker:  They've got nowhere else to go but up.

Nae-Teeth Junkie is apparently an Eminem fan.  I know this because, for the last hour, he's been playing several of Slim Shady's greatest hits from his phone speakers.  He's also rapping along with most of the songs, despite knowing only 40% of the words.
Medical Receptionist:  Excuse me, could you turn that music off.  You're disturbing everyone else in the waiting room.
Nae-Teeth Junkie:  It's nae an explit (sic) version!  By the way, you're looking at the back of a bad night darling, it's full moon outside.  Ken fit that dis to folk!!!

In a conversation between Nae-Teeth Junkie and Wheelchair Drunk, Nae-Teeth Junkie claimed that he was stabbed in the face through a letterbox.  He called the police, but when they turned up they arrested him instead of the boy who stabbed him.  Both Nae-Teeth Junkie and Wheelchair Drunk agree this is an outrage.  Bad Back Lady is sitting in the corner, listening in and looking horrified.

11.25pm:  A young lad comes in handcuffed to a police officer.  His hands are heavily bandaged and both him and the officer are covered in blood.  Both officers are wearing gloves, and the lad is talking about Interferon.  Presumably he has Hep C.  Officer does not look amused.

11.30pm:  Nae-Teeth Junkie has been seen by a doctor and prescribed steroid cream and anti-bacterial cream.  He promptly says to his mate, Some-Teeth Junkie, that the prescription is "Exactly fit I winted!  Dancer!"

11.35pm:  A boy in a kilt has wandered in, obviously drunk.  His girlfriend is in emergency care because she's so drunk that she physically attacked him at the wedding they attended tonight.  His parents, who arrived 2 mins after him, quietly inform him that he needs to have her sectioned.

11.40pm:  Three bottle blonde chavs have walked in.  One is dressed in a pink onesie, a puffa jacket and a pair of beaten up Reebook trainers.

11.50pm:  Nae-Teeth Junkie's mate, Some-Teeth Junkie, just accused him of nicking his baccy.  After a short but heated disagreement Some-Teeth Junkie found the baccy in his pocket, and kindly apologised to Nae-Teeth Junkie.  Nae-Teeth Junkie replied with the immortal words "Told yih!  Who's the Daddy?"

Not long after the Teeth Junkie's disagreement, we got in to see my mum.  Eventually we got home at 3.15am, and I promptly got round to eating a family pack of Babybel cheese as I hadn't eaten anything since lunch the day before.  Mum's fine, I'm exhausted, and hopefully all my new A&E friends got themselves sorted out.  Fun way to spend a Saturday night, eh?

Bargain Hunting, Baby Scrims and Barfing

Evening all!  I must admit, it's a fair effort for me to type this right now because I just got in from my first ever baby scrims with GCRG.  Holy crap, I love those girls but I swear they want to break me.  Manon took a few photos, but there's no particularly good ones of me so instead of you can have a lovely picture of me (top photo, far left) getting beautiful hip-checked by Alice.  Out of bounds as well, pfft.

So yeah, that was fun and I did win 'Best Jammer' at the end so that's a tiny sense of achievement there!  I've also got a beautiful picture (bottom photo, far right) of me sitting in the sin bin (I got six penalties today...) while Grim patiently explains to me exactly how I managed to get two penalties within 10 seconds of each other.  Forearms and multiplayer blocking.  I'm a dick.

So yeah, baby scrims was fun and I am absolutely exhausted.  Then, in addition to that, my little sister has developed norovirus.  Also known as the winter vomiting bug.  So I'm operating on the assumption that everything in the house in contaminated and I've barricaded myself upstairs so I don't catch anything!

In other news, me and Mikey went to Thainstone Mart this morning for a spot of bargain hunting.  I managed to get a lovely silver Charles Rennie McIntosh ring for £12 which I'm rather happy with (photos to come once I paint my nails).  I also got a couple of DVDS:  Sugar Rush, that TV show about lesbians in Brighton that was on a few years ago.  I loved that show.  Also, Eastern Promises which stars Naomi Watts, Viggo Mortensen and Viggo Mortensen's penis.  It's very good.  Since I don't get have pictures of today's bargains I will show you the beautiful perfume bottle I bought from the Cullen Antiques Centre last weekend.  Isn't it pretty? So yeah, that's it from me but I'm getting interviewed for the local paper tomorrow so I'm sure I'll have plenty to tell you after that!

Update Time

Last post on the 23rd of February?  Oopsies!  I really need to remember to update this.  For updates sake, I am currently being a lazy bum as I woke up this morning with a banging headache.  I'm eating crisps and watching Friends while Mike sits in the corner playing Age of Empires II: HD.  And now I'm writing this, how exciting! So, here's what I've been up to recently:

Photo courtesy of Dod Morrison
Photography at dodmorrison.com

I NSO'd at my first real bout on the 31st of March.  It was a cracking bout between Granite City Roller Girls' (wooo, yeah!) and the Middleborough Milk Rollers.  For those who don't know, NSO stands for non-skating official which means I had to stand and look impartial (left) which is really, really hard when your team are playing.  We lost, but it was still a great day and I'm looking forward to doing it again on the 11th of May at GCRG -v- GRD, so if you're in or around Aberdeen on the 11th then head down to the Beach Leisure Centre to watch an awesome game.  Plus, it's free entry!

(R - L) Me, Jill and Bethany at
Jill's 21st birthday party

I'm in full wedding prep mode!  Since my friend Jill is getting married in precisely 5 weeks and 6 days!  I'm going to be a bridesmaid and I am super duper excited.  I tried on my shoes the other night and they're perfect, a lot lower than I would normally wear but at least I'll be able to walk in them.  Dress needs a few alterations and I'll need to get my hair did but other than that I'm sorted, and also ridiculously excited!


Other than that it's just lots of little things taking up my time - university work, actual work, family commitments, visiting friends etc.  But things are going good and roller derby is making me feel a hell of a lot fitter than I've ever been which is swell.  Anyway, I promise I'll get better at updating this thing, even if I only have one follower!!!

Yo Hablo Español

¡Hola!  I am meant to be at University today, but I'm still hideously ill so instead I have spent the majority of the day in my bed feeling incredibly sorry for myself.  I'm yet to be sick this morning, which is somewhat of a bonus, so hopefully whatever this is will disappear soon.

Now, if there's one thing I can't stand it's an unproductive sick day.  Whilst getting my daily fix of reddit this morning I managed to stumble upon a post about Duolingo so I have spent pretty much my entire day so far learning Spanish.  If you've never heard of this website before I highly, highly encourage you to go take a peek.  It's beautifully laid out, simple to use and really encourages you to get a grip on what you're supposed to be learning.

Duolingo's very pretty UI, also showing that I kick ass at speaking basic Spanish.

It uses a points system (great for people like me who have an insane desire to win all the time) and lets you monitor how many points you have compared to your friends.  Certain amounts of points unlocks more achievements and further levels of learning.  It's kind of like a game... but a game that's actually worth something.  Anyway, if you want to learn a language then have a look - it's free so it won't do you any harm if you don't like it.

The one complaint I have about it so far is the lack of languages.  So far you can only learn Spanish, French, German, Italian and Portuguese but I suppose for a free language site I can't complain too much.

Anyway, I'm going back to learn some more.  If you decide to use the site, please friend me so I have more people to beat learn with.

Things To Do Before I Die

1.  Graduate from University, preferably with a 1:1!

Hell Yeah Derby!

2.  Own a house.
3.  Get married and have kids.
4.  Visit at least one country on every continent (minus Antarctica, for obvious reasons)
5.  Learn to play an instrument.
6.  Play in at least one derby bout.
7.  Adopt a dog or cat from a rescue center.
8.  Learn a foreign language.
9.  Ride a motorcycle.
10.  Visit Plitvice Lakes National Park in Croatia.
11.  Raise £1,000+ for charity.
12.  Own a pair of genuine Louboutin heels.
13.  Read all of the James Bond novels.
14.  Watch every 'Best Picture' Oscar winner since the Academy Awards began.

Introduction

So I've had a Blogger account for about 3 years now and I don't think I've ever used it but I've been doing so much new stuff lately I figured I might as well start a blog, especially since it doubles as a place to document all of my activities!

Leslie Knope transferring two
gay penguins to a zoo where
 their gay marriage will be legal.
I love Parks and Rec.

At this particular moment in time I'm in bed as I'm off sick from work.  I'm migrane-y, I'm being sick and I ache all over but instead of using this as an opportunity to study I have spent most of my morning watching Parks and Recreation.  I deem it productive, but I'm sure my lecturers would not agree.

So, as the post title promises I am here to tell you a little bit about moi.  I am Claire and at the time of writing I am a 20-year old administrator for a small company in Aberdeen, Scotland.  I'm also studying for a BA (Hons) degree in Business Management in addition to my full time work, which can get pretty tiring but it'll be worth it.  I'm hideously unfit, but I recently took up roller derby which is officially the best form of exercise in the world.

Drew Barrymore in 'Whip It' (2009) - picture
chosen partially because of it's relevance to
roller derby, partially because I have a large
ladycrush on Barrymore.

It is the only sport I have ever come across that I both:

a) actually enjoy participating in

b) can actually feel the benefit of the workout a couple of days after training

So yeah, I'm going to keep going with it and hopefully one day I'll actually get good enough to play bouts.  Seems a long way off at the moment but the girls on the team are such great and supportive coaches that I think it's possible, or at least I hope it's possible.  I mean I've already spent way too much money on skates and gear...

That's me on the right, in case
you were curious...

Other than work, university and derby I spent most of my time with my darling other half Michael or with friends.  In terms of the future, I'm not really sure what it holds for me.  Me and Michael are trying to save up to buy a house but at the moment it seems a bit impossible, but we'll persevere and hopefully get there eventually.  A nice job, a few pets and kids and a sweet car would also be pretty sound but we'll stick to the big stuff first!

Anyway, that's a bit about me - I hope we get to know each other a bit better over the next wee while but feel free to ask me any questions.

Lots of love,

Claire

xxx